Dying Innocent
by Whisteria
Summary: Warning: DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU BELIVE OR WOULD LIKE TO BELIVE THAT THE WORLD WE LIVE IN IS PERFECT! --- Joan finds out Adams secret... but why would he do such a thing to himself? Can she save him before its to late? Complete!
1. Save Me Jane

Author Notes: WARNING; this story may disturb you completly. It was written by a disturbed mind in a disturbed state of being. DO NOT read this if you belive or would like to belive the world we live in is perfect.  
  
Chapter Lyrics: catch me as i fall, say you're here and it's all over now, speaking to the atmosphere, no one's here and i fall into myself, this truth drives me into madness, i know i can stop the pain if i will it all away. don't turn away, don't give in to the pain, don't try to hide, though they're screaming your name, don't close your eyes, God knows what lies behind them, don't turn out the light, never sleep never die. i'm frightened by what i see, but somehow i know that there's much more to come, immobilized by my fear, and soon to be blinded by tears, i can stop the pain if i will it all away.  
  
- Save Me Jane -  
  
"My name is Adam Rove, I'm sixteen years old, and I am a cutter" He swallowed, looking around the room.  
  
Everyone there was going through the same thing. They all wanted to stop the self inflicted pain. Adam didn't like it here... and wouldn't have come, had it not been for Joan.  
  
He remembered back to the day she had found hime, no not found him, but rather saved him.  
  
The night was dark and stormy. Joan had decided to suprise Adam with a sketch she had made of him. Now she knew she was no artist, but this particular sketch was special; it resembled exactly how she saw Adam through her own eyes, and she couldn't wait to give it to him.  
  
"Adam?" Joan called, entering the shed.  
  
"Huh?" Adam looked up, suprised and seemingly dazed. "Oh, hey Jane, what are you doing here?" he asked, pulling his long sleve shirt back down over his arms.  
  
"I came over to give you this" she replied, holding out a thin sheet of paper.  
  
"Oh... cool, thanks"  
  
"You don't want to know what it is?"  
  
"I'm sure it's just dandy, Jane."  
  
"Adam, what's going on with you?" Joans hurt was apparent.  
  
"Nothing is going on with me Joan" he was begining to get agressive.  
  
Joan walked up to him, ignoring his harsh words and prper name use, this wasn't Adam, something was very wrong. Out of impulse she quickly lifted his sleeve, exposing many scars and freshly open cuts and bruises.  
  
"Adam!" Joan cried, "what are you doing to yourself?!"  
  
"Leave me alone, yo!" he shouted, pulling away.  
  
Tears filled Joans eyes. There was nothing she could, she wasn't even fully sure she understood what was going on. The thoughts swirled together in her mind, causing a light headed sensation. When she could no longer keep her balance, she fell to the floor.  
  
"You can crash on the floor until you feel better, but the door is to your right" Adam stated, bluntly.  
  
Joan was amazed. She had never imagined Adam to be so cold hearted. There was no words to say to him, so she lay on the floor, head in hands, crying.  
  
-- to be continued. --  
  
Follow up: What can i say?! I warned you I can be demented... 


	2. It Is Time

----  
  
Dying Innocent - Chapter Two - It Is Time  
  
----  
  
"I have something for you, Joan"  
  
Joan looked up to see exchange student god hovering over her.  
  
She stood up.  
  
"What could you possible have for me?" she questioned, the hurt still evident in her eyes.  
  
"Advice"  
  
"Don't you mean another asignment?"  
  
"It's time, Joan"  
  
"Time for...?"  
  
"You must tell Adam?"  
  
"Yeah, Okay, incase you missed it last night, let me clue you in... Adam shut me out."  
  
"Trust me"  
  
"And what do you want me to tell him ol' wise one?"  
  
"Everything, Joan, everything" having said that god walked down the hallway and out of sight.  
  
"You're real helpfull, you know that?!" she called after him, causing many heads to turn.  
  
----  
  
She had decided to tell Adam that night, although she was still un-clear on what she would say. He had been distant towards everyone today, including Grace and Iris. Although Joan was scared for him, she was glad to know he wasn't cutting during the school hours; it was a sign that things could still be *saved*  
  
As she walked towards Adams shed yet again, she couldn't help but to wonder about repeating the night before. This time she just wanted to talk.  
  
"Please god don't let me catch him cutting again" she silently prayed, entering the shed.  
  
"Jane" Adam looked up from his art.  
  
Relieved, Joan looked back at him.  
  
"Hey, Adam"  
  
"Hey, listen I'm sorry about last night, yo"  
  
"I'd tell you that it's okay and that I understand, but the thing is, Adam, I don't understand"  
  
"I don't want to talk about it, Jane"  
  
"But I do..."  
  
"NO! We aren't going to... I'm not going to!" Adams voice had become agressive, as it had during their prior meeting.  
  
Joan took a step back. She was suprised by the sudden mood change... it had come without so much as a warning. She knew if Adam was not calm, she could not complete her *asignment*.  
  
"Please calm down" she pleaded.  
  
Seeing her tears Adam quickly appologized.  
  
"I'm sorry Jane, it's just so hard..."  
  
"What's hard Adam, please you have to tell me?"  
  
"Life, it gets harder every day"  
  
"Oh, Adam, nobodys life is perfect"  
  
Their eyes met and as if entranced by a hypnotic spell, neither could turn away.  
  
"I just wish things were different" he began to cry.  
  
Joan reached up to wipe away his tears, gently resting her hand upon his cheek.  
  
"It will get better Adam"  
  
"How do you know, Jane? how can you be so sure?"  
  
"God has a plan for you"  
  
"I hardly ever know what your talking about" he laughed through his tears.  
  
Joan slowly moved her hand from his face. She made her way to the bench and gestured for him to sit beside her. God had been right, it was time to tell him *everything*  
  
-to be continued-  
  
---  
  
FREE PICKLE TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWS!  
  
--- 


	3. My Secret Angel

Author Notes: I have no idea where my mind has been latley but I seem to have lost my touch. If I ever had one in the first place. Anyhow, this ones a bit of a shocker, although I've seen many similar situations in other fanfiction so it may not suprise you at all.  
  
Dedication: To everyone who suprised me by adding me to their favorite authors list - right now this includes: Admiral Lily, cheeseroxmysox27, Keiyuki, cwankgurl, and angelical nightmare - Thanks guys, it's such a huge honor to be on a favorites list.  
  
----  
  
Dying Innocent - Chapter Three - I Believe  
  
----  
  
"So what you're saying is you talk to God?"  
  
"Yeah" Joan was slightly embarassed.  
  
"And he tells you to do things...?"  
  
"Yup"  
  
"Jane... are you taking any kind of medications you shouldn't be mixing with eachother?" Adam questioned her.  
  
"Adam, you once told me that you understood alot of things that other people didn't get. Well, I need you to understand now."  
  
"I'm trying, Jane"  
  
"I hated to hide this from you Adam, but..." Joan sighed "You already had so many burdens to cary with you"  
  
Adam smirked, deeply inquiring in his own mind the concept of what Joan was saying. He believed her, he had no reason not to. Although his first reaction had been a bit harsh, he cared for Joan, and he had faith in her.  
  
Joan continued to explain to Adam about all of her past actions. She told him of his art project amd about chess. She explained why she had obtained her drivers lisence and her grounds for joining cheerleading.  
  
"I don't always see the results, but in the long run it's mostly good things that happen." Joan continued  
  
"Mostly?" Adam asked  
  
"I don't count the art project as a good result" she added, allowing herself to offer a half smile.  
  
Adam gave a sheepish grin. It was obvious to him why God had Chosen Joan. And he knew now this was his angel, the one whom he had been secretly talking to all along.  
  
A knock on the shed door interupted the silence of the moment. Standing in the doorway was the one whom both Adam and Joan had recognized. To Adam he was the mysterious figure of a boy who had stolen his dance. To Joan he was simply, God.  
  
"Hello, Adam" CuteBoy!God smiled "Joan" he nodded.  
  
"I'm sorry, who are you?" Adam could not help it, he had to ask. His curriosity had to be settled.  
  
Joan had a been a bit suprised about the whole situation. She had not expected god to show up, and had not expected him to be in his CuteBoy! form. She had to admit, however, he was deffinatly making it easier on her.  
  
"I'm God" he smiled, exchanging a glance with Joan.  
  
"God's a teenage boy?" Adam questioned, not buying the story.  
  
"When I want to be" Cuteboy!God chuckled, "I look different everyday"  
  
Adam looked over at Joan who in turn took his hand.  
  
"It's true, Adam, he's the one I've been telling you about."  
  
Adam had become speachless. There was nothing more to say, nothing more he could think of... He had dare say his thoughts for fear the story he had just been told truely did have some truth behind it.  
  
"Adam, there's someone who would like to see you" CuteBoy!God stated, glancing towards the door.  
  
At that moment all eyes had become fixated on the heavenly looking woman entering the shed. Her dark hair was in soft curls accenting her face and a bright yet gentle light shown around her.  
  
"Mom" Adam gasped as fear and joy overcame him and his tears began to freely flow.  
  
"Hello son" the woman spoke in the sweetest tone Joan had ever heard. Her voice had reminded her of a thousand white doves and a soft playing ochestra.  
  
There were so many things Adam wanted to say at that moment, so many questions that had been left unanswered. When he tried to speak, silence was all he could hear and he couldn't control his now obvious sobbing. Part of him thought he was dreaming, part of him wanted to wake up.  
  
"Adam," the woman began to speak again, as Joan looked at her in amazement, my son, my one true love, there is something you must understand... I have never stoped watching you" she slowly turned her head to look around the area in wich they stood, "you have always been a wonderfull artist, Adam."  
  
"Mom... I ... I..." Adam struggled for words.  
  
"It's Okay, son" his mother smiled, looking down at Adams hand wich had still been interlaced with Joans. She lightly reached out and held the couples hands together in her own, looking in Adams eyes. "Everyday we meet some very special people", she told him, "and when I met this young lady here," she smiled, looking over at Joan, "I knew she was the one for you, Adam." Her eyes moved back to her son. "She cares about you as I do, she will watch over you when I cannot. Please, son, stop hurting yourself, for when you do, all the angels in heaven are crying with me." A silent tear fell from her face.  
  
As his mothers figure slowly faded away Adam gripped onto Joan as tightly as he could. He knew it was time to get help. 


End file.
